The other day I was talking to my friend about homecoming. She asked me if I was going and I said yes. Her face lit up. “Who asked you?” she said.
“No one,” I said. “I’m going by myself.”
“Oh,” she replied, her voice deflated.
A few days ago, my friend asked me the same question and I told him I was going alone.
“I would only go if I had a date,” he had said matter-of-factly.
Formal school dances have always had a romantic connotation attached to it. The idea is you go to homecoming as a couple. The guy pays for everything, the girl wears a tacky corsage, and everyone poses for awkward, sweaty pictures.
Not like there’s anything wrong with that. But going stag just seems more fun.
That word, stag, grossed me out a little. It feels like I’m in a bad eighties prom movie. But if I say, going alone instead, I suddenly have this image of me in a formal dress, pantomiming a slow dance with an imaginary date.
The majority of people who are going to homecoming seem to be going as couples. Girls walk around campus with bouquets of flowers, smiling smugly. Boys make public declarations of their love when they ask girls to the homecoming dance. (Ninety-nine percent of these declarations involve signs.) And when I ask my single friends if they’re going, the answer is always no.
But why? I shout, shaking my fist, cursing the heavens. Why don’t single people go to couples-oriented events? Why do they avoid it like the plague?
There are many things I don’t understand in this world – geometric proofs, bumpits, Silly Bandz. And one thing I really don’t get is when people go to homecoming with someone they don’t know very well. That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. If you spend a whole night with someone like that, they might turn out to be really boring, or really stupid, or a stalker who wants to kill you at the end of the night.
But if you are like me and you like your friends, then go to homecoming with them. Round up a group of nice people. Take pictures in someone’s backyard, spend way too long figuring out the dinner bill, and ironically sprinkler dance at homecoming. I guarantee you will have fun.
very well-written, clearly organized article and much respect to its content. keep up the good work 🙂