NOTE: This article was written under the name Cheryl, and the line which states posted “by ___” on this article and the former Ask Cheryl does not denote author credit as it only states who has posted the article. Hopefully that has clarified any questions.
Ask Cheryl is an enigma within an enigma within an enigma, and she’s here to answer all of your questions. Just comment below to ask away, or friend Cheryl Harnett on Facebook. Write up your question and prepare to be dazzled. 
Hello, college bound high schoolers, you are about to embark on a journey. This is of course known as the college application process. This is not a journey for the weak minded, and I know well myself since I got into Harvard (Early Decision). Some of you will succeed and be accepted to the university of your dreams, but many of you will have those dreams crushed to smithereens by a tractor made of your inadequate grades and SAT scores. Hopefully, my advice can aid you before you press submit sometime in November, December, or January. (Did I already mention that I got into Harvard?)
Dear Cheryl,
My parents want me to get a 2500 on the SAT, but I told them that this is impossible!
-How Can I Be Better Than Perfect?
Dear How Can I Be Better Than Perfect,
All you have to do is tell your parents that you are incapable of getting such a high score. Receiving a 2500 on the SAT is very difficult, but it is by no means impossible. And by difficult I mean its about as hard as finding an elderly man dressed as a parrot in eighteenth century Botswana. “We” can’t all be perfect. I received my perfect score on the second time I took the SAT. The first time I took it I received a 2390, but I rarely like to disclose such a low digit. Just remember that not everyone can do well on the SAT, and that’s okay (or whatever you want to keep telling yourself).
Dear Cheryl,
My dream is to attend Harvard, but how do I get in with a just a 4.0 weighted GPA?
-Harvard Hopeful
Dear Harvard Hopeful,
Getting into the best school in the world is in no way an easy task for most. And let me start off by saying that I was quite an anomaly at Harvard because of my stats. During my freshman year of high school, I took AP Physics and took several theoretical psychology classes at the local junior college. I also worked in a psychology institute from seventh grade through my senior year. For my sophomore and junior years, I took all of the AP classes offered at my school because my IQ is “ridiculously high”. Senior year, I only took college classes. I graduated with a cumulative GPA of 5.6 and received numerous young scholar awards. Please note that the average Harvard applicant is much more accomplished than I am. So my advice is to go above and beyond and you might accepted! Unfortunately, not everyone is allowed to call the Harvard Yaaad their home, nor able to say that they are among the smartest people in the country, nor able to wear a cute crimson sweater with the university’s emblem without looking like they’re trying too hard. Harvard is a great school on all accounts, and it would be a shame not to get in. As for your less than stellar GPA, it never hurts to dream! Confidence, even false confidence, is the first step.
Dear Cheryl,
Have you ever studied abroad? If so, how was the experience?
-Trying to Travel
Yes, I actually did study abroad in Peru. Let’s just say that I learned, ate, and loved a lot. Just remember not to take any invitations to scale any plateaus from “geology professors”, they just want to sell you alpaca farms even though everyone knows that alpaca’s are useless. Also, say no to anything guava related. Remember to be open minded to other cultures!
Dear Cheryl,
How can I afford tuition for college? Everything is so expensive.
-Starving Student
Dear Starving Student,
We all know that the economy is in terrible shape and things are far from getting any better. College is very expensive, but that’s why there are these things called parents. Just ask daddy to cough up some dough and you’re set!
Dear Cheryl,
How do I get into Hogwarts?
-Mo Muggles Mo Problems
Dear Mo Muggles Mo Problems,
Hogwarts is a fictional place and it is impossible to attend a school that does not exist. Hopefully that has cleared up any remaining childhood delusions you still clinging to post juvenescence. Childhood fantasies are not things to be appropriated to reality. Believe me I would get no sleep if I tried to remember my childhood on a daily basis. Life would be one recurring nightmare about how I tried to get my parents to invest in Microsoft stock and they decided otherwise.
