It begins once again. That season of pain, triumph, humor, and money. This is of course the beginning of a new political season, the race of 2012. With every political race, politicians try to appeal to the hearts, minds, and most importantly, the pockets of Americans.
Then, out of nowhere, appears the head of Herman Cain. He gently shifts his neck to view the audience and begins to make the slowest attempt at smiling in the history of mankind as the most inspirational song in the universe plays. By this time, tears should be streaming down your face, and there should be remnants of your brain splattered on the floor because your mind was just blown. And then you are left with nothing but the memories of one of the greatest political ads in history. While critics have seen this ad as a campaign in favor of smoking, I believe that there is a much larger metaphor. Clearly, Cain is trying to show the American people that he is going to smoke up the competition and kill you with sheer awesomeness. While you may not like the fact that the super powerful Koch brothers are funding Cain, or his immigration policy, we can all agree that this ad was beautiful.
This is not the only campaign ad that has garnered Cain some attention. “He Carried Yellow Flowers” is a video just as beautiful as the latter, albeit slightly more confusing. The video begins with a jingle that sounds like it was taken off of Microsoft Office Powerpoint and was titled “Countrysong1”. In cowboy-esque font, read the words “There was a time in America, when a man was a man…” to give you the sense of how terrible this country is now that men are no longer men. (They’re ducks.) This alarming message is then followed by “and a horse was a horse…” What has happened to the America that we knew and loved?
The “real man” cowboy riding on the horse slides into town where he has a confrontation with an anachronistic black cowboy. They start to fight, and then somebody shouts “cut” and you realize everything you know is false. This has been a movie set.
The “real man” cowboy is actually a pansy actor named Nick Searcy, who has very particular demands for you, the viewer of the ad. You know Searcy from such films as Planet Earth, Bride Wars, and Castaway where he is neither Tom Hanks nor Spalding. The point of the ad is that you can’t know a person from how they present themselves on television. Like this cowboy, who acts tough on screen, but is really sipping a daiquiri off camera. Or like politicians who use words like “hope” and “change” and “vote,” but are really reading off of a wimpy communist TelePrompTer. But Herman Cain is a REAL man who has done REAL things. Searcy leaves to finish his scene and then the beautiful face of Herman Cain reappears to try to smile for a good 8-10 seconds. Mind blown? I think so.
Onto the wondrous ad that is Interim Mayor of San Francisco Ed Lee’s video. While it is unclear whether or not Lee authorized this video, all parties involved support his election on November 8th. This trinket of political gold is titled “Ed Lee is…2 Legit 2 Quit” and features MC Hammer, will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas, Brian Wilson, and other people who work for Youtube and Google. A song, while not as enchanting as Herman Cain’s picks, pumps you up and gets you to remember that “Ed Lee is…too legit to quit.” The song tells us to “fear the mustache” because Lee’s ‘stache is quite impressive while Brian Wilson reminds us all that if your last name is Lee, then you are “kind of sweet.” Wilson uses Sarah Lee, Bruce Lee, and Mot-Ley… Crue as examples. How could anyone not vote for someone too legit to quit?
So if you have not already done so, watch these campaign videos and revel in their beauty because in an abysmal political world where money matters more than the welfare of the American people, we all need a chance to laugh at our candidates who too often take us for granted.
