By Cheryl Harnett-Brumbis
Stress is an essential part of life, especially when you’re in high school–AP exams, state testing for weeks, and interpersonal drama galore! Back in my day, nothing rustled my jimmies more than seeing Jenna Winters wearing the same coral-colored prom dress as yours truly on what was supposed to be my night to shine. But as we age and grow like fine roses, such seemingly catastrophic events begin to appear more like fading trivialities of an overly dramatic teenage psyche. We must learn that these events do not merit the stress we incur from them. Huns, my advice will ensure that your state of mind begins to resemble that of the “OC surfer cool” that this region is supposedly known for.
Dear Cheryl,
I’m taking over 7 APs this year. How do I cope with the stress of having to study and pass all of them?
-In Over My Head
Dear In Over My Head,
I’ve covered topics similar to this in my back to school piece, and clearly you people are not getting the point. So, allow me to try a different approach other than my usual quoting of that Nike slogan and calls for you to “get it together.” Sometimes, you just need to own your laziness, lack of talent, pilled up coursework, etc. Recently, I came to realize that I (YES, this Cheryl Hilary Harnett-Brumbis) am not perfect. I learned this (for the first time) when I tried my luck at white water-rafting. There are certain limits to my already superhuman abilities. You must learn to realize the same. Know your limits and move on. Don’t dwell on the fact that you have probably barely had time to see the gorgeous sun these past few weeks. I’m sure that in July (when you receive your scores ), you’ll that find it was all worth it in the end, even if you end up at some “bougie” liberal arts college that accepts no credit for them. So be confident in your lack of abilities and stop stressing!
Dear Cheryl,
I’ve been hit with a really bad case of junioritis, and I’m finding very little motivation to go on. I experience zero stress now and I really want to sleep through finals. Can YOLOswag it?
-YOLOswagging Under the STARs
Dear YOLOswagging Under the STARs,
First of all, allow me to define what YOLOswagging is for those who are far too old to be reading this stuff. YOLOswagging can be categorized by a total lack of care for all things academic, and a blatant desire for the endless summer. While YOLOswagging may seem wonderful, remember that it’s not even June yet! You’ve got three months to place a glorious snap-back on your head as you head-bop to the new Daft Punk album. Now’s not the time to check out.
Dear Cheryl,
I can’t deal with really sassy people. They stress me out far too much. Any tips?
-Stressed by Sass
Dear Stressed by Sass,
It’s time you look in the mirror and take a good, hard look at yourself. Perhaps you’re actually a really horrible person. Sassiness is the spice of life. George Washington, Harriet Tubman, and Mark Twain were all super sassy and super influential figures that shaped this nation. It’s time you open your cold dark heart to sugar, spice, and something nice.
Dear Cheryl,
Is yoga a legitamate form of stress relief? My mind and body both say no.
-Reluctant Yogi
Dear Reluctant Yogi,
Looking good in yoga pants is stressful enough. Try the gym.
