By Kailyn Huynh and Kayla Nguyen
The thing that can make or break your school year—your friends. Everyone wants to have a lot of friends, but being social doesn’t come easily to everyone. In this guide, we interviewed several barons for some pointers to help you reach success with your socializing this school year!
Body Language
According to the 7-38-55 rule, communication is 7% the content of what you are speaking, 38 percent the tone of your voice, and 55% through your body language. Here are some body language and vocal tips from some of our Barons!
“Body language [is] mostly with your facial expressions. If you look like you’re having a good time, then the mood will be good. So like smiling a lot or laughing. And then, if you sway your body a lot, you make yourself look nervous. So maybe just staying still and then being relaxed,” sophomore Thomas Tran said.
It’s important to look like you are engaged and enjoying the conversation. Smiling can help you appear more friendly, approachable and genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. This will make them feel more encouraged to open up to you and tell you more about themselves.
“I smile a lot, I think. Whenever I make eye contact with people I smile at them. And I don’t want to be closed off like crossing my arms, but more like hands by my side or something,” sophomore Sophia Lu said.
Opening up your body posture is one of the most important ways to signal friendliness and openness to others. It can tell the other person if you are more detached from the conversation or more eager to learn about them.
Overall, just try to look more natural in your conversations and use your body language to appear as friendly as possible. It can help a lot more than you think, especially since a big part of processing a body language happens subconsciously.
Challenges
Like everything else, socializing with others has its ups and downs. Some people click better than others, while others might struggle to start up a conversation with someone you want to be friends with. Let’s hear about some people’s personal struggles in making friends.
“I’d say whether someone’s unresponsive but that’s very, very doubtful. Very unlikely. Everyone here’s friendly,” senior Anthony Campos said.
Another Baron faces a very different experience with her struggle.
“Probably language barrier because I am fluent in Viet, I’m Vietnamese. And I just came here for like a month. So it’s kind of hard for me to actually try to convey to them what I want to say. So sometimes we misunderstood each other. But I mean, everyone’s nice to me, so I guess that’s not a really big deal,” sophomore Cindy Phan said.
Lastly, Lu chimes in again about her challenges in making friends.
“I guess not understanding if they want to be friends too or you’re too scared. I think there’s this thing called a friend crush, where you really want to be friends with them but you don’t know what to say or like what to do,” Lu said.
As you can see, most students here at Fountain Valley are friendly and open to making new friends. The only thing stopping you from making these connections is your own fear. Just relax and try not to overthink the interaction.
How to befriend someone and keep the conversation going
You’ve gathered up the courage to talk to this person you’ve found interesting. How do you start the conversation? How do you make sure the conversation is interesting? Let’s see what tips our barons have from their experience.
“I think the best way to befriend someone is by joining clubs, sports or extracurriculars around the school. We offer all clubs at school and I think the best way to find a friend is by finding someone that you have similar interests in,” senior Joycemary Dang said.
Another person, freshman Dominic Cruz, offers advice on what not to do.
“Don’t talk about yourself. Don’t make it about yourself,” Cruz said.
Campos gives some recommendations on what topics to talk about when approaching someone.
“Honestly, anything. A topic can really go as far as sports, like I said, sports go a long way and you can come from, honestly, homework and [that type] of topic,” Campos said.
Freshman Jocelyn Ivers also offers her strategy for talking to someone new.
“I would just start with a compliment. And like, start talking with them. See how they are,” Ivers said. “[You can also] start on their plans for the weekend.”
Lastly, Phan provides us with some more of her advice on making friends.
“For me, it’s actually more about being yourself and find[ing] people like you so you can choose. Like for me, I actually like dressing up. I like cute pink sanrios,” Phan said. “And when people see my sanrio keychain, they would approach me. They would be like, ‘hey, I like your keychain!’ and we’d be friends. That’s usually how I make friends. But sometimes you need to take the initiative and actually go talk to them.”
There are so many ways to make friends if you are confident and push past your fear of approaching people. If you begin your conversation on a good note, and make the other person enjoy telling you things about themselves and getting to know you, you can form a good impression on them and build that up through multiple conversations. It always helps to get yourself in favorable positions with this person through shared interests, whether that be joining extracurriculars, or displaying your hobbies where they can see.
Conclusion
Making friends can be a scary thing, but remember that, like everything else, socializing is a skill that can be learned! Practice and get comfortable with it— it can help you build long lasting friendships and connections wherever you go.
