By Caroline Mora
Love on the Spectrum is a reality TV show available on Netflix that follows autistic individuals who are looking for love. For two seasons, the show sets them up with other people on the spectrum in hopes they’ll hit it off and decide to continue dating each other.
There are a lot of mixed feelings about this show, both positive and negative. Some feel like the show exploits its participants while others believe it’s a great way to demonstrate how somebody on the spectrum might navigate having a love life and inspire other autistic individuals to put themselves out there as well.
Inspirational
Many people on the spectrum struggle to form connections. They might miss subtle social cues, or they just don’t vibe with the majority of people. This lack of connection can make them feel like they don’t fit in or that they aren’t normal. The definition of normal autistic individuals might simply look like somebody who is neurotypical or who might not struggle to make interpersonal connections as they do.
Everyone’s definition of normal is different but what is important to understand is that a neurotypical shouldn’t be viewed as the default or the norm. We all have our differences and we shouldn’t discriminate based on those differences.
The show works by setting up its participants on blind dates or sending them to speed dating events for people on the spectrum. They date like any neurotypical person would. If the date doesn’t work out, they try again with somebody new.
Most of the participants on this show are just starting their dating journey, having never been in a relationship or on a date. These new experiences are scary and, in some cases, can end in a meltdown. The important bit is that no matter how nervous they get or how bad the date went, they still get back up and continue their journey to find love.
Viewing this show as an autistic person could mean that maybe you were open to dating but had no idea where to start, and after watching, it gave you the motivation to put yourself out there. Love on the Spectrum demonstrates that there’s somebody for everybody and if the participants on the show can find love, so can you.
Exploitative
The other side of this show is a little less nice. A large portion of the people who have seen Love on the Spectrum feel that it exploits its participants, having them sign up for a life void of privacy and publicly display. As a viewer, it can be an uncomfortable thought — to watch somebody struggle for entertainment purposes feels unethical.
If this show was marketed as a social experiment or a psychological study, then there would be no problem with it. However, many feel that due to the show being sold as entertainment, therein lies its flaw. The participants on this show are trying hard to feel normal and experience love. Yet people at home are watching them with their popcorn buckets in hand and laughing at their mishaps.
So is it a good show or not?
I loved watching Love on the Spectrum. It was interesting to see how the participants jumped into the deep end with this. Autism can make it hard for people to step outside of their comfort zones so it was cool to see them try new things and have new experiences even with the weight of their anxiety crashing down on them. The show taught me that love is love no matter who you are. It may look different for some people, but at the end of the day, it is still love.
Many of the couples on this show ended up working out but many others did not. Seeing how after a breakup, the participants mourned their relationship for a bit but then decided to keep looking, felt motivational for me. Tons of neurotypicals break up with somebody and then they spend a long time pondering what could have been with their ex instead of continuing the search and starting a new life with somebody new. It is never a good idea to rush into a relationship after the wound is still fresh.
But, the participants taught me that you don’t need to take everything so seriously. You can have a bad date and still be okay afterward. You can break up with somebody and move on, using what you learned in your last relationship to hopefully improve your next one.
Overall, while watching the show I did feel like there were a couple of moments that could be interpreted as exploitative like when someone was having a panic attack and the crew continued to film them without giving support. However, you see this on reality TV shows often and this is nothing out of the ordinary for a film crew to be doing.
Ultimately, it all depends on your perspective of what is okay to film and what is not. If you feel there should be boundaries and limits to watch should be shown in these types of shows then that is your opinion, it’s completely valid and you don’t have to watch the show. However, if you are interested in watching Love on the Spectrum for yourself to see what your opinion might be, I completely recommend checking it out.
