By Anh Thu Truong
Through the subtle ways you talk to yourself, your intentions shape your world.
For some of us, underneath our outward appearances lies an inner critic, one that constantly second-guesses, doubts, and belittles our every choice. While one cannot expect to go through life completely unscathed by this inner critic, if we give this voice too much power, we are actively hurting our chances for healing and suppressing the opportunity for self-growth.
The way we speak to ourselves is often so automatically ingrained within our routines that we hardly notice it. We compare our vastly different lives to random strangers online—we examine every inch of our flaws when looking in the mirror. As our eyes scan for imperfections to correct and more blemishes to look down upon, we don’t actively realize the hurt and damage we’re doing to our own self-esteem.
What do you gain from being self-critical of yourself? There’s a fine line between having self-accountability to better yourself and drowning in self-hatred. Yet this line has been blurred and brutally smeared by the relentless pressure of our own expectations to fulfill societal expectations and be the best at everything we do.
As students, when we scrutinize ourselves over test scores, grades, beauty standards, and meeting other’s expectations, we don’t realize that our self-worth isn’t tied to external things.
As it turns out, the most human quality of being human is making mistakes. It’s especially crucial in those moments afterward that we are encouraging ourselves to do better– not tearing ourselves down.
Most of us aren’t aware of our subconscious mind that works quietly in the background, picking up on the state of our conscious being. If we build a habit of contributing to a negative self-perception of ourselves, our subconscious will absorb these fallacies as truths. In turn, this negative feedback loop will continue to reinforce the same beliefs of not being good enough.
It’s not easy to let go of a fixed mindset. But just like getting better at a hobby, self-kindness is a practice that takes consistent effort to remind you that you’re a person who deserves the same care and appreciation as someone you love.
Take a moment throughout the day and examine how you speak to yourself. Are you encouraging yourself, or do you lean towards self-doubt and scrutiny? Do you immediately criticize yourself after failure, or do you offer yourself patience and understanding?
Navigating life’s difficult obstacles and hardships takes courage and grit, yet the last thing we remember is the importance of prioritizing our well-being, which starts from within. Remember, you have the power to take control of your thoughts and to create an inner dialogue that encourages you to succeed. Humans have an incredible capacity towards change, and today it starts with reprogramming our self-talk to consciously choose kindness for ourselves.
