By Arielle Nguyen
Throughout my school years, my natural circle of friends tended to evolve and devolve and do everything but remain the same.
During the transition from second grade to third, I switched schools. Starting over with only one friend (who, mind you, became my friend most likely because I shared the same name as her younger sister) was never the best circumstance, but back then, I wouldn’t have anyone less.
When I was promoted and entered middle school, my group of friends grew. Some were new, loud, exciting and full of promise, and then others faded into the background—echoes of a past that I desperately tried to cling to. The shifts were subtle at first—laughter in conversations turned into polite small talks, busy schedules and inside jokes I could only call a memory.
It really hit when I became a freshman. My group of friends in middle school wasn’t the same group of friends in freshman year. We were growing apart as different extracurriculars and classes gradually tore us apart by the loud laughter and memories that had once held us together. It was daunting to realize that I would have to remember them longer than I knew them, and I could barely cope with it before.
And yet, there is not a defined path you should take when you realize you and your people are falling out. However, as a senior-veteran-professional of coping with the ebb and flow of friend groups… I still have no tips. I’m struggling, maybe just as much as you are, with growing up and growing apart.
If it felt right, I tried to stay in touch. Outside of that, our interactions were nothing more than just trying to avoid each other’s eyes in the halls. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, a way to try to stop the rush of memories from flooding our minds if we so much as looked at each other.
As you get older, your values and interests change. You may not be on the same path as your friends, and that’s okay. You just learn to branch out, but your friends will always be at the root. Just because those friendships faded—short-lived or not—doesn’t mean they weren’t worth anything in your life.
Still, almost every day, I see my old friends in the halls, laughing with new people. Maybe I get a bit of FOMO. Almost every time I want to run up to their side and catch up and laugh like we used to. Maybe we were just a checkpoint in each other’s life, but without each other, we wouldn’t be where we are today.
