By Arielle Nguyen
Raise your hand if you want your pee time to be regulated!
I didn’t raise my hand. And not many others raised their hands either — for good reason. I will probably be peeing my pants because of this system!
The bathroom policy, or the hallway pass policy, was implemented at the beginning of this year through the 5 Star App, limiting hallway passes to two a day and in seven-minute increments. While the reasons for the policy are justified — created to reduce vandalism, time outside of class and to increase safety — its execution was as smooth as a painful “number two.”
What happened to “knowing your body the best?” Seven minutes to walk (or run, if you’re really feeling miserable), use the bathroom and head back to class? It isn’t long enough for someone with consistent stomach issues. Perhaps a little TMI, but sometimes a “number two” can take longer than five minutes.
Using the restroom is a simple act of bodily autonomy. And although your bladder won’t rupture upon withholding your urine, who wants to be a viable threat of soiling your pants? Who wants to go to the nurse’s office for tummy troubles and waste both parties’ time? Worse yet, who wants to upset their metabolism? No one wants to have a pit in their pelvis or — God forbid — an ache in their rectum. My stomach is churning just thinking about it.
But you know, I’d rather stay in class than retreat to the restroom only to find horrible monkey business. From what I can tell, the bathrooms are looking better.
“But what about the drawings on the walls?” Have you noticed the lack thereof?
There have been minimal to no students vaping or profanity dripping from the walls, and the absence has stunned me — for good reason. Many students are trying to save their passes for when they truly need them, so the increase in engagement in the classroom is remarkable. Students focus more on the teacher, leave classless and pay more attention to their studies. And if they do use the bathroom, they almost always return within those seven minutes, allowing adequate time to quickly catch up on their daily agenda.
“But what if I have crutches?!” I’m getting to that.
Note that teachers and administration are willing to make accommodations if they see fit. For example, students who are disabled or have special plans can receive arrangements — so trust me, if you have a broken leg, you’ll be fine. If you went to the nurse’s office, the library or wherever on campus for longer than your seven minutes, you’re not suddenly exempt from leaving your class. Your teachers are willing to hear you out … as long as you’re not exposing yourself as a toe-curling, seat-gripping, tummy-ache survivor.
But we don’t want this, right? We don’t want to be micromanaged, right? I have a two-part solution to increase student engagement and reduce vandalism at the same time!
- Stop taking advantage of your school time. Do your business and go back to class.
- If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
