By Lauren Hyland
So, you’re a lefty? Good luck with that. Being left-handed might seem like a fun quirk to some, but let’s face it — left-handedness is one big series of annoyances that make the universe feel like it was custom-built to mess with you. Sure, lefties are a creative and illustrious group, claiming Einstein, Da Vinci and Oprah, but have you ever tried to use a pair of scissors without risking a repetitive stress injury? Righties just have it easier. Let’s break down why you should join the 90% of the population that got it right.
Only about 10% of people are left-handed. That’s right, the other 90% are enjoying a world built for their right-handed pleasure. They can comfortably use scissors, can openers and spiral notebooks without needing chiropractic intervention. When you’re in the 10% minority, everything is a struggle. Door handles, computer mice, those weird school desks with armrests on one side — these are everyday obstacles that remind you that lefties are, in fact, at war with the built environment.
For lefties, life is a pain. Left-handed disadvantages don’t appear few and far between but day-to-day. Life is a symphony of minor inconveniences that all add up to one clear conclusion: left-handedness sucks.
Left-handed disadvantages: might as well give up
Oh, you want to cut something? One must search far and wide for lefty scissors, and while more common, a lefty cutting with right-handed scissors feels like slicing paper with mittens on. Unless you enjoy wrestling with scissors, it’s a struggle every time.
It doesn’t end there. You know school desks with that nice armrest? Yeah, those were made for righties. Unless you wish to sit backward in your unmovable chair, lefties have to deal with an obstacle on their right side with no rest on their left.
Lefties who have tried to use a can opener know this device is basically a torture device. If you don’t have a left-handed can opener (and who does?), be prepared to go hungry.
Back to common school supplies, the spiral notebook. Great for those blessed with a dominant right hand. But if you are a lefty, expect spiral-bound indents in your left palm and aching pain to accompany them.
As you write in your uncomfortably scratchy notebook, expect illegible vocabulary. Lefties write across the words they just wrote, smearing ink and graphite as they go, leaving their hands a monochromatic mess. Righties, of course, get to see their pristine words while keeping their hands miraculously ink-free.
Beyond literacy issues, who knew that a quick social gesture could be so complicated? The high five and handshake. Lefties reach out with the wrong hand, which turns a simple handshake into an awkward fumble. And high-fives? They are the lefty’s slapstick nightmare.
Right-handed advantages: the world’s favorite hand
If lefties have all these struggles, then righties must be living in paradise. And they are, I can vouch. Right-handers don’t just have it easier — they have it better. Here are a few reasons why going right is basically winning at life:
Nearly every product is designed with the right-handed person in mind. Scissors, computer mice, golf clubs — these are made for people who use their right hand. Right-handers don’t think twice about it. They just exist in harmony with the universe.
Righties can play guitar, open jars and wield kitchen knives without looking like they’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube or hunting for the limited supplied left-handed version. Everything fits right into place, allowing them to do things with ease.
When it comes to writing, not only do righties write without leaving behind a trail of smudged ink, but they can also see what they’re writing without blocking it with their hand.
And a greeting, ever notice how smoothly right-handers can exchange a handshake? They don’t even think about it; it’s just a perfectly choreographed moment of connection.
Can you become right-handed?
Now, the real question is: can lefties just switch teams? Can you become right-handed? Well, technically, yes, you can train your non-dominant hand, but it’s a bit like learning to write with your toes. Ambidexterity is possible, but it requires dedication, practice and patience.
If you have the drive to retrain your brain to do everything with your right hand, go for it! Just know that ambidexterity doesn’t come naturally — it’s a lifestyle.
Why you should try to be right-handed
If you’re ready to embrace a life free of can-opener rage and ink smudges, consider working on that ambidexterity. With enough practice, you might just free yourself from the tyranny of left-handed life. Besides, being right-handed isn’t just about convenience — it’s about access to a world that loves you back.
So, if you’re left-handed, do yourself a favor: put down the left-handed scissors and start training that right hand. It’s time to join the majority in blissful ergonomic harmony. Remember, right is right!
